Your child has finally (praise God!) agreed to go to rehab and, after a few weeks of not using drugs or alcohol, glimpses of his or her sweet, lovable self are reappearing. Now treatment is ending and your child is earnestly assuring you that he or she will be able to return home and never drink or use drugs again. What’s a parent to do?
I’m sorry to say this after the hell you’ve been through, but my recommendation is:
Don’t Believe Them
The first weeks after residential treatment are very, very dangerous times. Research shows that 31% of the patients who start using again during their first post-treatment year will relapse during the first week. More than half will relapse in the first month:
While some of the individuals who relapsed quickly had left treatment against medical advice, many had not. In fact, of the 31% who started using drugs or alcohol in their first week after leaving treatment, more than half (55%) had successfully completed all recommended treatment and appeared to be on the road to recovery.
Addiction is an insidious, chronic disease. While it’s possible to remain abstinent after returning quickly to the people, places and things that are vivid reminders of drug and alcohol use, the sad truth is that it’s unlikely.
Think of sobriety like a muscle. The longer someone is able to stay drug- and alcohol-free, the more likely they’ll have the strength to ignore their overwhelming cravings when confronted with the opportunity to use again.
Conquer Addiction’s research shows this in multiple ways. First, the likelihood that someone will be reachable and abstinent one year after treatment is directly related to the length of time that person remains in treatment:
Unfortunately, the high cost of treatment combined with the refusal of insurance companies to cover long treatment stays means your child is unlikely to spend as long in treatment as you would like. In response, I highly recommend you find a reputable sober group home (sometimes called a recovery residence) that can provide a sober support structure for your child as he or she transitions back to “the real world”.
Our hard data following up with about 17,000 patients after addiction treatment shows the tremendous difference living in a sober group home can make:
Note: These abstinence rates are inflated because patients who didn't submit a one or six month survey are excluded
Among patients who submitted one month and/or six month post-discharge surveys reporting what actions they took to stay sober after treatment, 21% more individuals who had lived in a sober group home for at least three months were reachable and abstinent one year after treatment than those who didn’t go to sober living at all. Among those who lived in a recovery residence for at least six months, 32% more were abstinent at one year. And even more exciting is that a very high percentage of the individuals who lived in a sober group home for at least six months never relapsed at all in their first year after treatment!
I am quite confident my daughter would not be alive today if she hadn’t lived in sober group homes for 6 months after her first treatment and later for another 13 months. Whenever we tried having her move back home with us, she would quickly start drinking again.
If you want to maximize your son’s or daughter’s chances of achieving long-term recovery, ask their treatment team or other trusted experts to recommend one or more reputable sober living homes your child could move into directly after treatment. A good group home will provide structure and oversight as your child develops the support network, friendships, and habits necessary to stay sober in a stressful world. If you can't get a recommendation from someone you trust, here's how to find a good sober group home on your own.
